Urologist joke

​A urologist had a leak in his bathroom on a Sunday. He called a plumber who charged him a £50 call out fee plus another £100 for fixing the problem in 15 minutes. The urologist was shocked and said to the plumber – I am a Urologist and I fix human water works and I don’t get paid this much. The plumber replied – I know – that is why I quit Urology and took up plumbing! More money, taps don’t bleed and you don’t need an anaesthetist!

😜😜

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Euthanasia – Joke

An article from readers digest

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : ‘Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I’d much rather die.’

My wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable tv, DVD, then the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, rum, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the fridge…

I ALMOST DIED!!

Moral : Think before you speak. The female brain works on a different wavelength!
😜😂😜😂😜

Psychiatric Hospital – Joke

In a Psychiatric Hospital, phone rings…
RING RING CLICK Recording – “Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.” If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.

Measurement of body Temperature: FAQ

🤔MEASUREMENT OF CORE BODY TEMPERATURE: FAQs

❓What’s the problem, if we place the temperature probe in upper 1/3rd or 2/3rd of the esophagus?

✔️Esophageal temperature should be taken from the lower third of the oesophagus; placed above this level, the probe may under-read due to cooling effect of inspired gases. It gives a good estimate of cerebral blood temperature.

❓What’s the advantage of nasopharyngeal temperature measurement over oesophageal measurement?

✔️The nasopharyngeal temperature probe is placed just behind the soft palate. The advantage is that it is more accessible compared to the oesophageal temperature measurement. The disadvantage is that it is less accurate in representating the core temperature.

❓What are the advantages of measurement of temperature @ Tympanic membrane?

✔️The tympanic membrane provides an accurate representation of hypothalamic temperature. It is less invasive, has a short response time and correlates well with oesophageal temperature. But it does not allow continuous measurements.

❓What is the best method for CONTINUOUS measurement of core temperature?

✔️Blood temperature measurement using a pulmonary artery flotation catheter

❓What are the factors reducing the accuracy of Rectal temperature measurement?

✔️Rectal temperature is influenced by heat generated from gut flora, the cooling effect of blood returning from the lower limbs and the insulation of the probe by faeces. It is normally about 0.5–1.0 ° C higher than core temperature and has a slow response time.

❓Can you say an e.g. of utilising the temperature gradients existing between different sites of the body for clinical advantage?

✔️The gradient between a skin temperature and a core temperature can be used as a marker of peripheral perfusion.

Best moments in doctors’ life

Best Moments In a Doctor’s Life.

1. The sound of restarting heartbeats when resuscitating a patient.
2. Closure after a difficult surgery where only the surgeon knows how he / she has saved a life.
3. A perfect surgery / procedure / stenting without complication.
4. Seeing the beautiful cute face of a healthy newborn.
5. Managing a major bleeder successfully.
6. Reversal of paralysis after thrombolysis (clot-buster injection).
7. Termination of Status Epilepticus (non-stop seizures/ convulsions).
8. Control over infection. Every infection is life threatening potentially.
9. Waking up of a comatose patient.
10. The genuine “Thank You” of a patient relieved of pain / stress / illness.
11. When someone random recognizes you in public and thanks you in front of your kids / family.
12. When the poorest of the poor collect enough money and gift you sweets for treating them free.
13. When a patient too educated to believe your truth goes to your professional competitors and many others, and is told the same, so returns to you with a greater faith.
14. When you can answer all questions asked by students after a lecture / clinic (without Herapheri / bluffing).
15. When a student performs well and patient gives a good feedback about them.
16. When you silently prove your clinical argument with good results.
17. When anyone at work says “Take some rest now.. You have been working too much”.
18. Qualifying for a medal/degree/publication of significant repute.
19. When you know that it’s not only the medical skills, but also your passionate involvement, speed and coordination that saved the patient.
20. When traffic police “Let you go” for minor offences just because you are a doctor, especially on the way to an emergency.
21. When someone says “I want to become a Doctor like you”.

There are many more. Every day is filled with both tears and smiles, and the doctor has to balance these by using his/her soul as the fulcrum. At the end of the day, death humbles everyone, but it is the doctor who stands to defend everyone else’s life without thinking if they are good or bad, friend or enemy.

Who will believe that money, home, family, cars, looks, luxury, and even love, romance are secondary joys for most doctors, after they have attended all their patient’s issues?

This pride is precious. The suffering a choice.The rewards immaterial.

A good doctor is the best a human being can be.